Anxious
That heavy, sometimes suffocating emotion we tend to feel in our chest, stomach, head, wherever. Even though emotions are universal and we can easily relate when someone describes feeling frustration or anxiousness, the way we feel them is unique.
Our emotions rise from our past, experiences, memories, self-worthiness, beliefs, values and dreams. And they are all unique as all our life stories are one-of-a-kinds.
War. Corona. Diseases.
Do they make you anxious? Some get anxious with them, some don't.
Expectations. Presumptions. Demands.
Some get anxious with them, some don't.
Your current life. Your job. Your ordinary days in life.
Some get anxious with them, some don't.
What is the difference in which makes one anxious and which does not?
Answer is surprisingly simple: expectations of outcomes.
Things that happened:
Do you think how they could have gone differently if some element would have been or done differently? Do you wonder how your life would be like, if you had done or had not done something in your past?
Things that are happening now:
Do you expect them to end up well or bad? Do you wish they'd go differently than they are going? Would you want to steer the wheel to other direction than where things are seemingly going now?
Things that are about to happen:
Do you go through various different scenarios in your mind how that becoming thing is going to end up? Or do you ponder if anything is even going to happen? Should you do option a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, or i to achieve the one certain outcome that you so eagerly desire?
This kind of thinking is natural. It's our logical and presuming mind, which has been invaluable for humans to get this far. Learning from past, adjusting present and planning for future - these are good things. So, why and when the anxiousness kicks in?
When we glue ourselves to only one narrowed outcome.
We can't control anything but ourselves. The world around as moves as it pleases: approximately 8 billion people make their own unique decisions every day, and they all impact the world from their own perspectives and wishes of outcomes. This might sound unsettling at first, but it actually isn't!
From anxious to freedom
Imagine if you could live with a mindset of not worrying about a thing. You would do your best, be kind to others, love unconditionally and live gratefully, and whenever you would feel anxiousness lurking around your guts, you could greet it, tell it all is good, and the anxiousness would walk away.
That is achievable.
By adjusting your mindset, perspective, and inner interpretation and self-talk, serenity takes over you.
For example:
I fell really badly with a bike when I was young, that was awful, wish that never happened - I fell with a bike when I was young, oh boy that was thrilling experience and I sure learnt to improve my biking skills.
I feel so tired at the moment, what if I have corona, or what if I'm just lazy and bad person - I feel so tired at the moment, I'm so grateful for my body to tell me it's deserved time to take me-time, relax, and continue with my tasks after I've slowed down and enjoyed the chill side of life for a moment.
I'm sure I'm going to fail tomorrow, I'm so nervous and I'm not sure I have the needed skills to succeed - I'm sure tomorrow's going to be exciting day, I'm allowed to have this exciting experience, learn a lot from myself and know, that whatever happens, I have taken steps forward either with learning new things or acclaimed new things to get closer to by perfect life.
Why these things keep happening to me?! - I've learnt so much in my life.
Wish I was someone else - I know what and how I want to develop myself.
I'm afraid of what future holds for me - I'm eager to see what amazing gifts future will send to me!
Preventing anxious moments
- Don't expect anything but new experiences and lessons.
- Accept that you have no control over things. When you truly embrace that thought, you will notice how relieving it just to always do your best today. When you have good intentions, confidence and you act from your heart, good things will come your way.
- Be grateful of what you have and what you get.
- People are amazing at adapting, that's important for our survival. Unfortunately we adapt so easily to things we have great in our lives. Every now and then stop for a moment to examine, what is well in your life and feel grateful about them. As a pro tip for greater self-development: be grateful about seemingly challenging things in your life too - they're there to teach you and take you forward.
- There are no failures -> F.A.I.L = First Attempt in Learning.
- If you decide in advance how an attempt should go, you'll get anxious beforehand and probably get disappointed with the result (there are pretty sure too many variables for you to take care of). Instead if you see every outcome, whether it ended like you might have planned or not, as a moment and experience of learning, your attitude will change positive towards it. And you'll actually learn to make things better next time! There is no failure, only feedback.
- Switch perspective to see how well things actually are.
- We see our life through our own perspective. That's only one perspective of about 8 billion perspectives in the world. How can you tell your perspective is correct, or the person's perspective next to you is correct. When you think about it, you can't. Choose perspective, which makes you feel the best of yourself! Need examples? "If this poor person would see me now, she/he would be so envious"; "If this rich person would see me now, she/he would admire how nicely simple my life is"; "If this shy person would see me now, she/he would be amazed how brave I was" or "If this reckless person would see me now, she/he would be fascinated how calm and safe my life is". Choose the perspective which makes you feel great about yourself.
- You can; it's just the matter of when you decide to take action.
- We all can be anything we want to. That is universal truth; we all have the same wide amount of resources inside us. The difference is, how much one puts effort, focus and time to a single goal. Elon Musk or Steve Jobbs aren't different than you; they just put more effort into their life area of choice. You can achieve whatever you want too - just take the action.
If you'd like to get more help with your life, check this site, as it may well be the next relieving and lightening step in your life.